Amazingly Funny Quotes about Life
As everyone is familiar that Laughing is good for health, while we all do enjoy as well as have fun as omen one cracks a joke or does something foolish or idiotic. But here are few funny thoughts/ quotes on life.
- “Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.” - James B. Conant
- “I think you can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.” - Janis Joplin
- “I’ve met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you - you’re 20 minutes.” - Jan Sterling
- “Age is a high price to pay for maturity.” - Tom Stoppard
- “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” - Lucille Ball
- “Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.” - Don Marquis
- “The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.” - Thomas Jefferson
- “Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.” - Arnold H. Glasow
- “Make allowances for your friends’ imperfections as readily as you do for your own.” - H. Jackson Brown
- “To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.” - Charles De Montesquieu
- “Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.” - Og Mandino
- “Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” - William Shakespeare
- “A mother is the best friend God ever gave.” - Christian Nestell Bovee
- “Don’t carry a grudge. While you’re carrying the other guy’s out dancing.” - Buddy Hackett
- “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” - Mark Twain
- “Time, indeed, is a sacred gift, and each day is a little life.” - John Lubbock
- “Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.” - Doug Larson
- “If I’d known I was gonna live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” - Eubie Blake
- “If you had to define stress, it would not be far off if you said it was the process of living.” - Stanley J. Sarnoff
- “In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.” - Thomas Jefferson
- “He has a heart of gold - only harder.” - Adolphe Menjou
- “Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare.” - Harriet Martineau
- “The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.” - Arthur C. Clarke
- “Humor is most powerful thing that uses laughter as it base to chase your blues away.” - K. Kapoor
- “Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead.” - Bill Mcglashen
- “If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.” - Abigail Van Buren
- “Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.” - William Arthur Ward
- “Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” - St. Francis of Assisi
- “There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “What matters is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight of the dog.” - Coach Bear Bryant
- “I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.” - Groucho Marx
- “Given a choice of weapons with you sir, I should choose grammar.” - Halliwell Hobbes
- “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant.” - Robert Louis Stevenson
- “Too often we visit the well of divine abundance with a teacup instead of a bucket.” - Elinor MacDonald
- “You’ll be richer in the end than a prince, if you’re a friend.” - Edgar A. Guest
- “Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.” - Robert A. Heinlein
- “So, if you feel a smile begin, don’t leave it undetected, let’s start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!” - Russel H. Conwell
- “Never think you have reached success for when you do then you start the slide down.” - Catherine Pulsifer
- “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” - Mark Twain
- “Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.” - William Feather
- “A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.” - Elbert Hubbard
- “Problems are opportunities in work clothes.” - Henry Kaiser
- “If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.” - Linda Sunshine
- “Humor is a great way to lighten any atmosphere, and laughing is a surefire way to brighten your outlook.” - J Fischer
- “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” - Oprah Winfrey
- “The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.” - George Jean Nathan
- “We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately.” - Benjamin Franklin
- “It is a funny thing about life you get back what you put into it.” - Catherine Pulsifer
- “We can see a thousand miracles around us every day. What is more supernatural than an egg yolk turning into a chicken?” - Rutherford Platt
- “There is no experience better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” - John Andrew Holmer
- “It’s a funny old life . . . man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.” - W. C. Fields
- “You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” - Winnie the Pooh
- “Remember the old adage; you can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.” - Stan Laurel
- “If you go to bed at night and think about your day and you haven’t laughed very much, then you must jump out of bed and go do something fun.” - Marlo Morgan
- “It’s not the men in my life that counts - it’s the life in my men.” - Mae West
- “A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.” - Herbert Prochnow
- “Laughter has no foreign accent.” - Paul Lowney
- “I don’t have a lifestyle. I have a life.” - Jane Fonda
- “We didn’t lose the game, we just ran out of time.” - Vince Lombardi
- “A happy family is but an earlier heaven.” - John Bowring
- “The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.” - Jules Renard
- “It ain’t nothing to find no starting place in the world. You just start from where you find yourself.” - August Wilson
- “I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.” - Andy Rooney
- “The difficult thing about children is that they come with no instructions. You pretty well have to assemble them on your own.” - James Dobson
- “The longer they wait, the better they like it.” - Marlene Dietrich
We hope that you must have had fun reading these amazing funny quotes on life, if you have more of such quotes other than the above mentioned quotes do share the same in the comments section… 😀
